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I'm in my early thirties and – gasp! – “single.”
If you had told me I was going to be unmarried in my thirties when I was in my twenties, I probably would have felt like giving up. Actually, I did try to give up when I was still unmarried at 29. I literally couldn't imagine anything worse.
Sometimes, I'm really dumb.
Being single/unmarried when you're in your thirties really isn't so bad. And I'm not just saying that to make myself feel better. It's really, truly, not that bad.
In fact, I can think of at least four things that make it pretty okay:
My forays into the dating world haven't always been successful. However, those experiences have been worth their weight in gold.
When you get to be in your thirties, you've likely had a few relationships. Sure, most of them probably sucked – but there were a few good ones in there too. And now you know what to look for. And how to deal with it when things don't work out as expected.
You've had experiences, both good and bad, and now know how to play the dating “game” for the long haul (if that's what you're looking for).
If you're in your thirties, you probably have several peers as friends – and they've shared their dating experiences with you.
You've had plenty of time to observe other couples' relationships and it's made you all the wiser for what to look for in your own. Knowledge is power, and you've been learning steadily!
A lot of my married friends are actually jealous that I'm single and get to experiment a little more with who I am and what I ultimately want. They got tied down early and now, sometimes, feel trapped.
Yeah, sometimes I feel a little envious of them and their “fairy tale” life; however, I also know that if I get invited to a threesome I have the opportunity to say “yes” if I really want to. Or I can tell the two other parties “no thanks” and do my own thing (far more likely haha). Point is: I have options. And so do you!
The more time you spend with yourself, the more you'll truly get to know yourself – and the greater chance you'll have at finding meaning in your life.
As much as you thought you knew yourself in your teens and twenties: You didn't. True discovery comes later in life.
Being single in your thirties means that you're giving yourself time to age – like a fine wine – into the person you were truly meant to become. And, eventually, you may find someone who loves the real you.
Besides, everyone knows by now that “30s are the new 20s.” You've got plenty of time to settle down. Until then: Enjoy yourself!