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FRANKLY SPEAKING: There are 6 Reasons You Shouldn’t be in an Open Relationship

by Lauren Tharp
by Lauren Tharp

Should you be in an open relationship?

In this day and age, the thought has probably crossed your mind – or, more likely, been brought up by your lover – at some point or another. But is it really for you?

Personally, it's not for me. I like exclusivity. That doesn't make my sex life boring, it just means that the one person I'm with gets all of my attention.

If you're thinking about opening up your relationship: Think carefully. And check out these six reasons why you probably shouldn't…

1. You can't control your jealousy

If you have a history of being jealous and nothing helps, then an open relationship probably isn't for you.

When you're in an open relationship, you basically open up your “team” to more players. And you're all supposedly on the same side!

Basically: If the open relationship “game” has you wanting to attack your own teammates, then it's not for you.

You also don't want to be the “crazy” lover who's constantly keeping tabs on your S.O. Yuck!

2. You think your S.O. will get tired of it/change their mind

They won't. Trust me on this.

If your S.O. brought up having an open relationship, then you're already in a weird area with each other. And if you two decide to actually go for it, then they're not going to want to stop that lifestyle. Don't delude yourself.

If you think that “If I just try this, then he/she will see how great I am and then we'll live happily ever after…” then you're just setting yourself up for failure and absolute misery.

3. You don't like casual sex

For me, sex is a big deal. I'm very selective with who gets to do what with my body.

When you're in an open relationship, casual sex is pretty much expected. Even if you're not having it, your S.O. probably is. Which could make you look at them a lot differently.

4. You constantly need to know where you stand

If you need to know the status of your relationship, complete with a defining label, then an open relationship isn't for you. Because that junk gets confusing real quick.

5. You want others to know where you stand

For me, an open relationship would feel like a failure. Like I'd been downgraded.

Imagine this: Friends and family would ask you how your “boyfriend” is… and you don’t know what to say. Is he even “yours” anymore? It probably won’t feel like it.

I know I once wrote that you shouldn’t give a @#$% about what other people think; however, relationships are a sensitive area.

If you know you'd feel your skin crawling every time someone brought up your relationship because you would be just that uncomfortable trying to answer them honestly… Don't do it.

6. You can't stand being alone

Yes, you're probably a strong independent woman (or man), but it still sucks to feel lonely.

If you're going from a relationship where you had your S.O. all to yourself to one where you're constantly sharing him/her with other people… it can be quite a shock to the system. You go from having someone to lean on, share laughs with, tell your dreams to…to…what?

Sure, you'll still see them quite a bit of the time, but it's really truly NOT the same as it once was. In some cases, it can almost be like being single again.

And while having nights to yourself to roll around on the bed alone can be fun at first, it can get lonely pretty quickly if you're not prepared for it. And if you know that you can't stand being alone, then an open relationship isn't for you.

Or, if none of the above bothers you, then go for it. ;) Have fun! And write an article on the plus side to having an open relationship. I'd love to read about it!