How To Forgive Your Parents For Not Being Better Parents
Family relationships can often be strained and difficult, especially when childhood events may still linger. Here is advice how and why you should forgive your parents.
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Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes, it may seem like there are more downs than there are ups. Yet, despite the worry and fret that may accompany those times, it is important to be thankful for negative things when they do happen.
The reality is that every single moment in your life, irrespective of how bad or good it may seem, is leading to another moment. Like the threads in a fabric, everything is interwoven. The truth is that what may appear like horrid news, could actually be small blessings in disguise.
A friend of mine had her entire life fall apart. Soon after losing her job, she broke up with her boyfriend and no longer had a home, since they lived together. Furthermore, she found that she lost most of her friends since they shared the same friends, most of whom sided with her ex-boyfriend. On top of that, she started to experience anxiety and panic attacks due to the stress.
We spoke about it and she expressed how scared and worried she was about her future. We then tried to apply the principle of being thankful for negative things, and see how she could see things in a more positive light.
Was losing her job necessarily a bad thing? There was the obvious concern about money. But on the other hand, it was a job she hated and always talked about wanting to leave. This was the perfect opportunity to find something she really felt passionate about. No more days of waking up to go and do something she disliked with unfriendly co-workers!
Secondly, as stressful as it was to have to look for another place to live – at least she was not going to be homeless. Even though her family lived out of town, she still had a place to go and people to support her while she got back on her feet. And this was definitely something to be grateful for, since a lot of people do not have that.
Thirdly, despite the heartbreak, ending the relationship with her ex-boyfriend meant she was free to focus more on herself and things she wanted to do. They had been together since high school, and she had always wanted to travel while he did not. And as a result, she never did.
Plus, it was good that she could recognise that he was not right for her now, instead of spending decades of her life with the wrong person – like many people do.
And finally, losing friends always offers a window to meet new people and discover a whole new social circle.
Because she learnt how to be thankful for negative things, it allowed her to see things from a different perspective, and to even feel a bit more enthusiastic. And by shifting her attention in that way, she was able to open up to a whole new world that she would have never been able to see.
She moved back to her parents' house and got a temporary job. And by using the principle of deciding to be thankful for negative things and to look for the positives instead, she realised she could save lots of money by not having to pay rent. And by losing her friends, she was not spending lots of money on expensive nights out.
In the end, she managed to save enough to quit her job and go travelling around the world for almost a year. She had the most amazing adventures, met lots of new friends, stopped having panic attacks – and she met her current boyfriend on her travels! And none of it would have happened, if she did not find she found a way to be thankful for negative things and to look for the positives instead.
Are you going through a painful heartbreak or it seems like you met “the one” yet it didn't work out? Check out my article here for some inspiration to get you through it!